29 Aug Feeling Stuck? Try These 6 Tips
*disclaimer: this post may contain affiliate links and mental health triggers… and it will definitely contain curse words, hard truths, hope, inspiration, and love
Do you ever feel… like, paralyzed? Or like, just an overwhelming sense of feeling stuck? Like you know you have a bunch of shit to do (or you should have a bunch of shit to do) and your brain is telling your body it’s supposed to move, but it just like… doesn’t? saylahvee.
Yuppp, same.
Feeling stuck is not a fun feeling, as you probs know because why else would you be reading this post? Whenever I feel stuck, I think it’s fair to say I’d rather go for a 10 mile run than feel that way. But like, I couldn’t go for a run even if I wanted to because of being fucking stuck. Soooo, yeah.
Great question! There are many different factors that go into feeling stuck but I wanted to lightly dig into a few that I feel go hand in hand with mental health. I think understanding why we might feel stuck is the first step to moving out of that feeling stuck kinda feel, which also helps support our mental health. And if you can’t relate to any of these below, try to do some deep digging of what is holding you back. And if you’re still unsure after digging deep, check out my Mental Health Bestie Program.
Fear of Judgment
Related: 5 Ways Fear Impacts Mental Health and How to Cope
Sometimes when we are so worried about what other people think, we aren’t able to take even an inch forward because we are so paralyzed about other people, which is then paralyzing ourselves. What’s crazy about fear of judgment is that we think we’re mind readers or something. Like we know better. We’re projecting what other people might think about us (which is typically so far from the truth) and it keeps us from taking any steps forward.
When I was ready to launch this blog, I was TERRIFIED of judgment.
Is my writing dumb?
Do people even wanna read this shit?
Am I scaring people off with talking about my mental health struggles?
What will people I know IRL think of me?
Honestly, none of it even matters. If I stayed in fear about what people thought, I’d never launch this blog. This blog is helping other people (and myself) so I’d be doing quite a few people a disservice by allowing myself to sit in feeling stuck and not launching this blog because I was projecting and worrying about what people may or may not say about me and my blog. That’s dumb, right?
If you are feeling stuck, there’s a chance that a fear is holding you back. If you can’t see it on the surface level, do some digging to see if you can find it in your subconscious.
Not Connected to Morals or Values (AKA nothing to stand for)
Sometimes, when we are so lost in our mental health struggles, we find ourselves feeling stuck because we have nothing to live for. And notice I said nothing, not someone.
Morals and values give us direction and purpose, like a guiding compass. Having direction and purpose gives us reason to keep moving forward, in the direction we’d like to see our lives based on what is important to us.
And like, don’t get me wrong here. Having morals and values aren’t going to be the end all be all to no longer feeling stuck, but it can help you at least start to make some moves forward when you don’t know what direction to start moving in. Lean into your values and morals to help guide your life and find little reasons to keep on truckin’.
Feeling Hopeless
When we’re hopeless that life can get better, it fogs our mind and we can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. And if there’s no light at the end of the tunnel, we might as well just stay stuck on the couch in our jammies with our best friends Netflix and Hulu forever, right?
Feeling hopeless has a huge impact of feeling stuck, because like how can you and why should you move forward if there’s nothing to move forward to or for?
Acknowledging your feelings of hopelessness might be the first step you need to take and understand to start moving past feeling stuck.
Comparing Yourself to Others
Welp, this one’s a doozy. And most of us struggle hard with it.
Comparing yourself to others is a super hard thing not to do, and takes a lot of mindset work to recognize and move past it. When we compare ourselves to others, we are opening the door to belittle ourselves, focus on our flaws, and beat down our own self confidence. Which keeps us feeling stuck.
It’s super nice that she invited me to dinner with her friends but they all wear Gucci loafers and designer bags and I don’t have anything that fancy to wear so they are gonna make fun of me. Why would they be friends with me? I’m not going.
Wow, her engagement ring is so nice. Of course it is! It’s obviously because she’s pretty, skinny, and everyone likes her. She’s irresistible. No one would ever want to date me. I’m gonna die alone.
Statements like this hold us back and make us feel paralyzed. And they stem from being so concerned about the way others choose to portray themselves to the world. We don’t even know if that shit is true… but here we are skipping out on life because we worry so much about other people.
So, what to do when feeling stuck?
There’s really not an exact formula to work through when you’re feeling stuck. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news. You gotta do some trial and error so you can figure out what works best for you. Because at the end of the day, we are all different and our brains work differently so what works for me, might not be best for you.
Below are some of my favorite things to try when I’m feeling super stuck and just can’t figure out how to make moves. Pop in the comments at the end of the post and lmk how you move past feeling stuck!
Self Care Staycation
Having a Self Care Staycation is sometimes just what’s needed to start making moves and getting unstuck. My friend, Rachel (and TBH blog mentor/coach), wrote a really awesome post about having an ultimate self care day, and it’s usually the first thing I refer to when I’m feeling stuck.
Move Your Body
So now that I’m not feeling depressed AF all the time, my favorite ways to move my body are a good ole’ shake it out session or a living room dance party situation. Butttttt when I was depressed AF and people told me to do this, I basically told them to go fuck themselves. So with that being said, I’m gonna provide you with other ideas to move your body that don’t include going for a walk and being stuck with your thoughts because fuck that shit.
- HAVE FUN while moving that body with this LED light up Hula-Hoop
- Do Handstands against the wall (or I guess if you don’t need a wall, you do you, but I’m not that kinda gal)
- Jump out your depression and blues with this nifty Digital Jumprope or my favorite At Home Trampoline (it’ll even fit in your tiny shoebox apartment, trust me!)
Change Your Routine
Or like, make one if you don’t have one. Sometimes doing the same things over and over makes us feel like we’re in a monotonous rut and your subconscious is all ‘noooooo I don’t wanna do that again’ and your brain is all ‘but this feels good because change is gross’ and then you’re feeling stuck.
Truth: your subconscious knows what’s up so tell your brain to take a chill pill and switch things up a bit to find some motivation to make some moves.
Set Goals
This honestly isn’t my favorite way to get unstuck because for me, if I don’t reach my goals I have a very good chance of backsliding and getting even more stuck because that’s just how I work sometimes. Self-awareness is key. Be honest with yourself.
However, if you thrive on meeting goals, this could work for you. Setting goals gives you means to move forward and have something to work towards, which can be incredibly fulfilling when you are feeling stuck.
Accept and Let Go
Letting go is one of the hardest things to do, especially when you haven’t received closure. But holding on to something that is no longer serving you, can very well be keeping you stuck.
For me, it was mostly my parents that kept me stuck. I haven’t spoken to my mom for maybe 12ish years and I’ve only spoken to my dad a few times in the last 6ish years. They’ve kinda fucked me up and put me in fucked up situations but I cannot imagine looking my mom in the face or even fathom a hearing her voice over the phone. It honestly would probably destroy me. And my dad is unable or willing to see what he’s done to me, accept responsibility, or genuinely apologize.
I refused to let go because I felt that I was owed something from them. They took my childhood, they took my happiness, they took took took, and made my life really hard. I truly from the bottom of my heart felt I was owed something in return for all that they took from me. An apology or acknowledgement at the least. But today, it’s too late for that because I’ve already let go and found a way to get unstuck so I could start living my life. Phew, it only took 31 years.
I was putting my life and my future in the hands of people who never showed up for me and I was refusing to let them go which was holding me back. Therapists have suggested that I write them letters that I didn’t have to send, just to say my peace and find a way to let go, but I couldn’t even do that. I had to just accept that they aren’t meant to be in my future. I had to accept that the past that they gave me has a higher purpose and I owe it to myself to let go of them so I can move forward and find it.
Honestly, letting go was one of the first things that moved me into my journey of feeling better and wanting to do life.
Bonus: Write Yourself a Letter
This one might only work if you have good days in addition to your bad days because if you’re in a season of long term bad days, this is gonna be really hard to do.
One of the first things I did when I started having good days was write a letter to Stuck Michelle.
I reminded Stuck Michelle of how good life can be, even when I’m having a tough day. I reminded her how even though walking and journaling are dumb, they do actually help me feel better so keep on keepin’ on. I reminded her of how much I love sunflowers and how basking in the sun by the river makes me feel like I’m getting a big, warm hug from the universe.
I reminded her how proud I am of myself each time I put on pants and leave the house even when the couch is calling my name, because that’s another day I chose and want to live. I reminded her how good it feels to be in the mindspace to support and inspire other people. And I reminded her how life is worth living and things do get better with hard work and persistence. Because life is hard but worth it. saylahvee.
What are some of your favorite ways to support yourself when feeling stuck? Let me know in the comments below!
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Deanna | Life By Deanna
Posted at 11:13h, 30 SeptemberChanging your routine can be sooo helpful!
Akansha
Posted at 10:24h, 02 OctoberGirl, your blog is BEAUTIFUL!! So unique! At one glance it was my new favorite. And everything you’ve mentioned in this post is so true. I love writing myself letters, and self-care is non-negotiable. It can really be life-changing.
Thank you for re-affirming this to me. Will visit again.
saylahvee
Posted at 10:40h, 06 Novemberthanks so much for reading and commenting 🙂
Carina
Posted at 09:56h, 03 OctoberI loved this post. I feel stuck a lot when I get overwhelmed 🙂 I have to try writing a letter to myself. That’s a great idea!
saylahvee
Posted at 10:35h, 06 NovemberI hope it helps 🙂 thank you for reading!
Lindsey
Posted at 10:59h, 08 OctoberLove this! So powerful! Look forward to reading more!
saylahvee
Posted at 10:34h, 06 Novemberthank you for reading 🙂
Christina Trama
Posted at 13:38h, 08 OctoberThanks for the tips, going to keep these in mind!
saylahvee
Posted at 10:34h, 06 Novemberthanks so much! I hope they help 🙂
Francesca
Posted at 11:48h, 13 OctoberHi, great post! Lots of helpful advice.
saylahvee
Posted at 10:27h, 06 NovemberThanks so much for reading 🙂